Sometimes, I seem useless.

If I wrote a biography I feel the vast majority of it would depict all the humiliating and hilarious stuff that’s happened to me in my life so far.

I would never consider myself as a ‘dumb blonde’, most of the time I am actually quite intelligent but somehow I manage to screw up quite a lot or witness something rather humiliating happening to others.

I would also not consider this a flaw as it provides a great talking ground most of the time: ‘Hey you OK?’… ‘Yeah I'm fine you?’...

This morning I headed into the bathroom for my morning wee, I stood in front of the toilet (everyone knows how to go to the toilet right?) and pulled my jeans and pants down.

A strange clanking sound occurred and I looked around trying to figure out what it was; then it dawned on me. My phone, in the toilet, soaking up all of the bacteria filled bog water.

In my haste to save it from its impending doom I plunged my hand into the depths to retrieve my soaking phone; still in a state of panic I chose to wrap the phone up in the t-shirt I was wearing further covering myself in toilet water.

Jeans and pants still round my knees I heave them up as far as I can and run down the stairs, top rolled up to my bra, jeans unzipped and still not fully covering me.

My house mates had obviously heard my shouts of “No...No, no, no, please shit no!”, as they were in the living room watching me fly down the stairs in this ridiculous state. 

Anyway, after all my efforts of hair drying, rice soaking and every other internet fuelled tip I could find I gave up and laid my phone to rest.

Perhaps the damage may not have been so final had I not, 6 months earlier, dropped my phone in a club as I attempted to take photos and stood on it in 6 inch heels as I attempted to pick it up.

Or perhaps if this wasn't the second time I’d in fact dropped it into the unholy water; or perhaps if I hadn't left it in the freezer for several hours after I’d been fumbling around for fries.

Regardless of this my Samsung Galaxy S4 mini was a trooper, a survivor until the end; it deserved a better owner than I could ever be.

RIP phone, you served well. 

Amy Stark.

GOING OUT EYE MAKE-UP | How To

Hi guys, I thought I'd share with you's how I do my make-up when I go out, It's pretty simple and looks intense so really pulls attention to your face!



Products used:



Colours by technic palette

Cheryl Cole fake eyelashes

Rimmel London's lid liner

Collection Longer Lashes mascara



Thanks hope you enjoy x

I am Switzerland but please shut up!

Once upon a time if you were an avid user of drugs you kept it more or less to yourself, you were the dark horse, the bad boy of the neighbourhood. Things have since depleted.

I don’t condone drug use and neither do I respect it; on the subject of drugs, I am Switzerland. Normally.

Nowadays you have the teenagers in the height of their rebellion screaming from the rooftops about how they hot boxed their car… Well done. You've officially achieved something the majority of people have tried.

  

“Oh dude, I took so many drugs last night, here let me list all of them for you until you can’t take it any more and want to punch me in my nuts”.

 It’s like when my Granny wants to tell me all about her trip to the doctors. I don’t care. I never will. Unless something particularly amazing or tragic happened. Which it never does.

It doesn't stop at simply informing people of all of the random crap they ingested last night, they then let you know all the 'crazy' things that happened and lastly they complain for the rest of the day about how horrible their come down is.

If I could summon enough interest to even pretend I give a flying rat’s arse I would. But I can’t. Because I don’t, and I can just about guarantee the rest of the human race don’t care either. 

I know the vast majority of people who take drugs know it's nothing special, they are actually just enjoying themselves and not using it as something to brag about. However, to all of those people who do, please, just shut up. 

NEW CRIB YO

Following on from Amy's post, I decided to also make a room tour in pictures. Living in a house instead of student halls has definitely been good for everyone, boy do we not miss getting told off by security guards 5 times a day.. everyday! 

For my room, I decided to go with a fresh look, meaning white everythaaang. My bedding is from IKEA but I'm sure places like Wilkinsons and other cheaper stores do simple white bedding, due to the long hours I spend in bed, great quality bedding keeps me happy from day to day. The only downside of white bedding is that anything shows up on it, so don't hold your foundation in your hand and sneeze - it will only end badly. 

This is my favourite part of my room - my arse shelf. It's perfect to hold my shoes, books and decoratives. It was already in my room when I moved in and looks oddly small in this picture! My fairy lights really make my room cosy at night when I don't want my bedside or main light on, they tie the room together and sit perfect on my shelf.

This part of my room is just little necessities and me and my friends' shisha's. I first got the idea to store beauty products and jewellery on one big plate and when I went to IKEA I found thee perfect white plate to do so, it looks cute, it's super useful and organising, double whammy. 

My room initially came with a sofa so I figured I'd go out and buy my own desk but when I moved into the house, it had disappeared and there sit a desk. I was quite disappointed but it meant more space in my room, keeping to the white theme I loved the simplicity of the desk when I saw it in IKEA. It took my dad about 4 hours to build but he got there in the end and it's still standing 4 days later, well done Paul.

COCKTAILS! | HOW TO

Hey blog kids!
We were heading to a house party and figured we'd give you a little tutorial on how to make cocktails! The Shade of Pale which we invented and the Zombie, quite a famous cocktail.

They're super easy to make and really delicious too, hope you enjoy!!



Shade of pale xx

New Room Excitement!

Hello bloggerinos!

Today I'm going to do a little post on my new room, me and Ellie just moved into our new house share in Sunderland with our friends and over this week we've been none stop decorating.

This is basically a room on a budget, a lot of the things I already had and the other things I found in barginous shops like Matalan, IKEA, B&M Bargains and more.

We absolutely love our new home; when we were living in halls accommodation it never really became home because it wasn't a house, but now we're living with our favourite friends and it's like the best thing ever.

So here are quite a few pictures showing all the best bits in my new room, I hope you like it!

TV stand minus the TV as my house mates are currently using it in the living room until we get a bigger one... I got the actual stand of my Sister-In-Law, it's perfect because it's black and the theme I'm going for is black, red & cream. There are loads of little bits and bobs on it like: books, pictures, jewellery & so on; I love clutter because it just makes things more comfortable for me. 

My friend Bradley gave me (allowed me to have) this in college, he basically got it free with a take-away one night and I loved it! I really like Chinese culture and their animal year of things. My year is the year of the dog which according to this means I am "Honest and a loyal leader of men. Generous but stubborn. Earmarked for success", sounds pretty good to me. 

MOST IMPORTANT!! 

I got this nifty little shoe rack from Boyes for £8.99, it's not the worlds best by a long shot but what do you expect with that price... It was a faff on to put up as well but I think it looks good now and I love having my shoes on display like this. 

SECOND MOST IMPORTANT! 

Clothes rack! The wardrobe in my room wasn't big enough to fit all my clothes in so it was pretty lucky that I'd already stolen this rack from my Sister-In-Law, (I get all her hand-me-downs). I think she probably got it from Home Bargains and I can't imagine it being any more than £5-£10. 

Sofa! This came with the room which I find pretty cool. It's actually cream underneath which I didn't particularly like so I got these throws to make it look a little better & added some more comfort items like pillows and a teddy. The throws were from Pound Stretcher and Boyes and were about £7-8 each, I actually made the denim pillow when I was like 12 or something & I got the others from Matalan, they were reduced to £8 from like £15 so that was definitely good! 

BEEEEEEED! The sheets here look pink for some reason but there a dark red in reality. My boyfriends mam gave these to me so yet another free find from family. 

Wardrobe, mirror, flower hula thing, post-it situation... Everyone needs a long mirror to check themselves out in & this one was £15 from Matalan (yes I love the home area in that store). 

A map of the world for inspiration as I want to travel a lot in the future! 

A canvas picture from Matalan for £4, a lamp which I turned into a cute jewellery holder and my ferb doll which I got of my besties in year 11 after we'd spent an entire summer watching Phineus and Ferb over and over again, complete which picture of me and the boyf camping.

The last three images here are of the desk and chair, another canvas from Matalan for £6 and my make-up station. 

Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed this and found it useful! Send us pictures of your rooms and we'll do a huge post on the best ones. 

Amy xxx

NEW HOUSE HAUL! | IKEA, Matalan & others

Hey guys, we just moved into our new house for Uni so we thought we'd show you a few things we bought from various shops, we hope you enjoy and don't forget to like and subscribe if you do as it would be a hige help! Thank you xxx

I swear I used to be a gymnast...

Okay, so the other week I did a blog post which explained a little about how weird my dreams are getting, remember? Yeah, well the other night I dreamt I was in a club trying to do walkovers (which are like flashy cart wheels), and I was falling over every time I tried!

Today I learned I’d been payed £311,  which is about as rich as it gets for me and in my excitement I attempted a ‘woohoo’ cartwheel; I don’t know what happened but I ended up in a pile on the floor with like pain everywhere!!

Only 2 years ago I was so flexible, I could do all the obvious things: cartwheels, walkovers, handstand, crabs, splits and more but now it hurts, a lot, whatever I attempt!

Does anyone else miss the days where climbing up a tree was exciting and not scary, where jumping over walls was easy and not calculated and risky?

I do! I wish my friends and I still went out in the street and played fox and hounds and bulldog, I wish I could still skate around and fall over without getting really embarrassed!

So this week I propose we all become kids again, I think it’s only healthy to run around like a mad hatter and pretend the floor is lava. 

Thanks Amy xx

Tattoo? Tattoo!

Okay so I think this maybe comes under the section of 'beauty' on this blog but a little bit 'fashion' as well. Getting a tattoo is like getting permanent make-up, or having a pair of shorts permanently attached to you; it's a huge decision and something that could change the way people see you.

I got this tattoo as soon as I turned 18, I'd always wanted one and at the time I was going through this hippy stage, I was desperate to go to Tomorrow Land and loved the quote they used so thought, 'Hey, why not?'.

I definitely don't regret getting it, I still love the quote but when people ask me what it says I reply "Just some deep, profound shit..." & that's mostly because it states the obvious. Yesterday is obviously history, and yeah today is a bit of a gift and since no-one I know predicts the future, tomorrow is a mystery...

But the tattoo means more than that too me, I just can't be bothered to explain to everyone who asks and tbh it's rather hard to explain.

This is my brothers tattoo. He was holidaying in Spain, everyone gets embarrassing tats on holiday. This is supposed to be the Newcastle Brown Ale logo, he didn't know they were putting flames on until afterwords. Although we all had a good laugh at him when he got home, I don't think he regrets getting it, I pretty sure he's actually proud of it to be honest. 

I really want maybe one or two more little tattoo's, I'd never get anything like a full sleeve though just a few little things here and there. 

If you guys have tattoo's please please please email us a picture or tweet us them. 

lighterthanpale@gmail.com 

https://twitter.com/childofstark

https://twitter.com/ellvicgib